Diet of Absurdities: Fletcherism

Dear readers I have found it yet again. The answer to everyone’s diet needs. With the drastic increase in obesity in recent years what else could be better than a diet that allows you to eat the foods that you want?!

Fletcherism is that answer to your prayers!

Fletcherism is basic and requires no special shopping plans, menus, or equipment.

The rules are as follows:

1) Eat only when hungry

2) Avoid eating due to anxiety, depression, or boredom

3) For every bite chew at least 32 times, liquefying your food to something that resembles Elmer’s glue or, preferably, water.

Because this writer does admit that there are some less than reasonable diet plans out there she does recommend looking into the side effects of any diet plan before undertaking a lifestyle change.

While Fletcherism does not have any of the same medical side effects as, say the Arsenic Pill Diet Plan, there are some set backs.

Side effects include:

· Taking exorbitant amounts of time finishing meals

· Annoying loved ones and eating companions with the time it takes you to complete a single bite

· Having to finish every meal in solitude due to no one else wanting to sit for the length of time required to finish chewing an entire meal 32 times

· Really tired jaw muscles

Because, dear reader, this writer would never recommend something to her readers she had never tried herself she can say from experience that this diet does work well if only that one gets incredibly bored with a meal before finishing it.

Not sure which for to use first? Click the photo for a tutorial. Perfect for killing time while chewing!